Subjectivity is objective.
She had been critical of his new torch song, “A Side Order of Heartache, Please,” suggesting it could be used as a good way to break in their new paper shredder.
Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.
I’d always wanted to be a dramatic. Comedy comes more naturally to me. I can do it with more facility. So I feel more comfortable with it.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
My success has allowed me to strike out with a higher class of women.
I wouldn’t necessarily want to be a big muscular guy. It’s nice to be gorgeous whether you’re male or female assuming you don’t lose whatever else you have.
The meaning of life is that nobody knows the meaning of life.
Life is hard for insects. And don’t think mice are having any fun either.
I’m generally not a social dramatist or comedy writer. My interests have always been more in psychological stories or personal relations and comic ideas.
I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy myself, but I didn’t.
Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it. When I’m walking down the street or having dinner, ideas will hit me, and I write them down on matchbooks or napkins and throw them in the draw.
My mind can never know my body, although it has become quite friendly with my legs.
Basically I am a low-culture person. I prefer watching baseball with a beer and some meatballs.
Better not think too much. Relying more on the body: it is more trustworthy.
Yes, but the difference is that when you’re dead and somebody yells, ‘Everybody up, it’s morning,’ it’s very hard to find your slippers.
My relationship with death remains the same – I’m strongly against it.
Achilles only had an Achilles heel. I have an entire Achilles body.
Between the Pope and air conditioning, I’d choose air conditioning.
To me there’s no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They’re all equally valid or invalid, really. And equally helpful.