I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he’d never stop throwing up.
If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
What if nothing exists and we’re all in somebody’s dream?
The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.
Living is messy.
Eres un pesimista, ves siempre el vaso medio vacio! -No, lo veo medio lleno pero de veneno.
Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could not blink my eyes in unison.” – “If The Impressionists Had Been Dentists.
By now they had mastered my own language, but they still made simple mistakes, like using ‘hermeneutics,’ when they meant ‘heuristic’.
The only time that my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.