Some people are funny, and some people are not funny. Many people who are not funny can make a living at it. You don’t have to be great to make a living at it. Just like a doctor who doesn’t have to be great can still make a living out of it.
Chastity is curable, if detected early.
My analyst warned me, but you were so beautiful I got another analyst.
The wicked at heart probably know something.
No matter what the shrinks, or the pundits, or the self-help books tell you, when it comes to love, it’s luck.
Honey! Bring down a copy of my will – and an eraser!
I usually want to crawl into the ground after I make a film, almost invariably.
The only love that lasts is unrequited love.
Even if God exists, he’s done such a terrible job, it’s a wonder people don’t get together and file a class action suit against him.
A man that has never lied to a woman has no respect for her feelings.
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
Skeptic that I was as an adolescent, I had recently come to believe in a Supreme Being after thumbing through a Victoria’s Secret catalogue.
There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
For some reason I’ve always had an irrational love for New York. There’s no reason that you would necessarily like it on paper. It’s very expensive.
The great question of philosophy remains: If life is meaningless, what can be done about alphabet soup?
I carry a bullet in my breast pocket. Once, a crazy evangelist threw a bible at me, which would have gone through my heart if it wasn’t for the bullet.
New York is my home and I have a particular fondness for it. I think it’s a place where you can generate any kind of story wonderfully. But I also would be very happy to make a film in Paris or Rome.
Is world peace possible or is the human race too innately aggressive? For instance: Have you ever seen women at a sample sale?
Never shoot up in the air when you’re standing under it.
I had an IQ test. The results came back negative.