The whole concept of awards is silly. I cannot abide by the judgment of other people, because if you accept it when they say you deserve an award, then you have to accept it when they say you don’t.
Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
How wrong Emily Dickinson was! Hope is not “the thing with feathers.” The thing with feathers has turned out to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in Zurich.
See, I never gain an ounce, because, you know, my anxiety acts like aerobics.
If I could only see one miracle, just one miracle. Like a burning bush, or the seas part, or my uncle Sasha pick up a check.
No Matter what you do there will be critics.
I’ve been lucky because my films have consistently made a profit, almost all of them have made a profit. Never a huge profit, but nobody gets hurt. And therefore I get a lot of freedom.
I don’t know what I’m doing, but my incompetence has never stopped my enthusiasm.
How am I immature? Intellectually, emotionally, and sexually. Yeah, but in what other ways?
I’ve always been interested in being in other people’s movies. I never get any offers.
I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it.
Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come.
Drama, it would be as if you wrote some poetry. You’d run the risk of being embarrassed if people read it, because you’re pouring your heart out and you’re not mitigating it with any humor or anything.
I idolized Superman when I was younger. I thought he and I had a lot in common. He was always going into phonebooths and taking off all his clothes.
The best things in life are censored.
We live in far too permissive a society. Never before has pornography been this rampant. And those films are so badly lit!
There’s no correlation between what the public likes and what I’m after. I’m in a different world.
I’m really a timid person – I was beaten up by Quakers.
I was in analysis for years because of a traumatic childhood; I was breast-fed through falsies.
The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.