I smell varmint poontang. And the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think.
The more relaxed you are, the better you are at everything.
Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.
I don’t have to take this abuse from you – I have hundreds of people waiting in line to abuse me!
Most people, when they talk fast, they get flat.
We still have to put some cherry syrup on it, and then we can eat it.
The atheists traditionally hold their conventions from Good Friday to Easter Sunday during the hours Christ spent in the grave.
You cannot pray them out of hell.
We’re Americans! Do you know what that means? It means our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world.
I’ve killed myself so many times, I don’t even exist anymore.
I improvise whenever I feel it’s important, or whenever I think that something’s there. It’s nice to have a script that’s so well-written that I don’t have to improvise. I mean, I used to have to re-write whole movies; this is kind of nice.
And when I told my sons I might be in City of Ember, they said, ‘Oh! You’re gonna be the mayor?’ And I hadn’t even read the script yet.
Half of the people in this room are more dressed up than on any other day in the year, and the other half are more dressed down.
I don’t know what my fans are going to think. It’s definitely not what they’re used to from me.
I don’t want to have a relationship with someone if I’m not going to work with them.
When the phone started ringing too many times, I had to take it back to what I can handle. I take my chances on a job or a person as opposed to a situation. I don’t like to have a situation placed over my head.
And I don’t like to work. I only like working when I’m working.
Whenever I think of the high salaries we are paid as film actors, I think it is for the travel, the time away, and any trouble you get into through being well known. It’s not for the acting, that’s for sure.
I love the financing. It’s fun to do studio movies, too. I think you should do both. You don’t want to be this, “He’s an independent film guy.” It sounds like, “He makes his own dresses.”
When I was a little kid playing baseball, my manager called me Sleepy. And only a few people, who know me from way, way back, call me that still. I used to drift off and that’s why they made me the catcher, so I wouldn’t fall asleep. That gift I have still.
You don’t have to have all this film stock, you can work faster, and you don’t need a giant crew. It’s great.