Road, n. A strip of land along which one may pass from where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.
Loquacity, n. A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk.
The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
EXILE, n. One who serves his country by residing abroad, yet is not an ambassador.
PLEBEIAN, n. An ancient Roman who in the blood of his country stained nothing but his hands. Distinguished from the Patrician, who was a saturated solution.
ADMINISTRATION, n. An ingenious abstraction in politics, designed to receive the kicks and cuffs due to the premier or president. A man of straw, proof against bad-egging and dead-catting.
ARENA, n. In politics, an imaginary rat-pit in which the statesman wrestles with his record.
DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.
NOMINATE, v. To designate for the heaviest political assessment. To put forward a suitable person to incur the mudgobbling and deadcatting of the opposition.
PANDEMONIUM, n. Literally, the Place of All the Demons. Most of them have escaped into politics and finance, and the place is now used as a lecture hall by the Audible Reformer.
Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
Respectability, n. The offspring of a liaison between a bald head and a bank account.
Intolerance is natural and logical, for in every dissenting opinion lies an assumption of superior wisdom.
A bad workman quarrels with the man who calls him that.
Fashion, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey.
Christians and camels receive their burdens kneeling.
Behavior, n. Conduct, as determined, not by principle, but by breeding.
Appetite, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.
PICKANINNY, n. The young of the “Procyanthropos”, or “Americanus dominans”. It is small, black and charged with political fatalities.