Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.
POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice.
Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
Economy, n. Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.
Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet for the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction.
Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance. Discovery of truth is the sole purpose of philosophy, which is the most ancient occupation of the human mind and has a fair prospect of existing with increasing activity to the end of time.
Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
It has been observed that one’s nose is never so happy as when thrust into the affairs of others from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.