REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one’s credibility for future delivery.
QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belonging to one person is contained in the pocket of another – usually about as many times as it can be got there.
ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear.
Hurry n: The dispatch of bunglers.
RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.
Nothing is more logical than persecution. Religious tolerance is a kind of infidelity.
HASH: There is no definition for this word – nobody knows what hash is.
DEJEUNER, n. The breakfast of an American who has been in Paris. Variously pronounced.
CRAYFISH, n. A small crustacean very much resembling the lobster, but less indigestible.
Nonsense, n. The objections that are urged against this excellent dictionary.
While you have a future do not live too much in contemplation of your past: unless you are content to walk backward the mirror is a poor guide.
Wisdom is known only by contrasting it with folly; by shadow only we perceive that all visible objects are not flat. Yet Philanthropos would abolish evil!
PIE, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.
PITIFUL, adj. The state of an enemy or opponent after an imaginary encounter with oneself.
In this world one must have a name; it prevents confusion, even when it does not establish identity. Some, though, are known by numbers, which also seem inadequate distinctions.
Quill: An instrument of torture yielded by a goose and commonly weilded by as ass.
Rome has seven sacraments, but the Protestant churches, being less prosperous, feel that they can afford only two, and these of inferior sanctity.
TRICHINOSIS, n. The pig’s reply to proponents of porcophagy.
TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.