FICKLENESS, n. The iterated satiety of an enterprising affection.
UXORIOUSNESS, n. A perverted affection that has strayed to one’s own wife.
An archbishop is an ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.
A violin is the revenge exacted by the intestines of a dead cat.
Distress: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.
Self-restraint is indulgence of the propensity to forgo.
DELUSION, n. The father of a most respectable family, comprising Enthusiasm, Affection, Self-denial, Faith, Hope, Charity and many other goodly sons and daughters.
Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
SYLLOGISM, n. A logical formula consisting of a major and a minor assumption and an inconsequent.
MEDICINE, n. A stone flung down the Bowery to kill a dog in Broadway.
SORCERY, n. The ancient prototype and forerunner of political influence. It was, however, deemed less respectable and sometimes was punished by torture and death.
Truth is so good a thing that falsehood can not afford to be without it.
Slang is the speech of him who robs the literary garbage carts on their way to the dumps.
Legitimate authority to be, to do or to have; as the right to be a king, the right to do one’s neighbor, the right to have measles, and the like.
When you have made a catalogue of your friend’s faults it is only fair to supply him with a duplicate, so that he may know yours.
PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.
When publicly censured our first instinct is to make everybody a codefendant.
Youth is Gilead, in which is balm for every wound.
One engaged in a commercial pursuit. A commercial pursuit is one in which the thing pursued is a dollar.