I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that’s why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
I hate to say it, but I had a great time in World War II.
I just wish insignificance had more stature.
I mean, I’m not a sexist person, but a woman has no business being down there trying to make some comment about a football game.
It’s best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it’s requested, and when it’s a life threatening situation.
Let’s face it, though, anything that’s apt to happen to an appliance like a blender isn’t covered by the warranty anyway, so I never send them in. If it breaks, I’ll buy a new one. That’s the American way.
If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.
The best Christmas trees come very close to exceeding nature. If some of our great decorated trees had been grown in a remote forest area with lights that came on every evening as it grew dark, the whole world would come to look at them and marvel at the mystery of their great beauty.
All economists should be locked up until they admit that they don’t know what they’re talking about.
In Washington, a confidential assistant is someone who, if you don’t want to know something, you go and ask him and he won’t tell you.
One of the sweetest things in life: a letter from a friend.
If you do see me in a restaurant, please, just let me eat my dinner.
It is possible to be dumb and be a college president.
I’ve done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I’ve complained about, I can’t complain about my life.
The Super Bowl isn’t for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account.
I’m in a position of feeling secure enough so that I can say what I think is right and if so many people think it’s wrong that I get fired, well, I’ve got enough to eat.
Let’s make a statement to the airlines just to get their attention. We’ll pick a week next year and we’ll all agree not to go anywhere for seven days.
Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It’s sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn’t hurt.
Believing is such a comfort that it’s hard to give up a belief just because it isn’t true.
Taxes are important. President Bush’s tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.