Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.
Writers don’t retire. I will always be a writer.
Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
Vegetarian – that’s an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.
I don’t like food that’s too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I’d buy a painting.
I am not retiring. Writers don’t retire. Writers never stop writing.
My mother always called me ‘sturdy’ and said I have big bones. A little fat is what I am.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.
I don’t differentiate much, except in degree, between people who believe in religion from those who believe in astrology, magic or the supernatural.
The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.
A writer’s job is to tell the truth.
The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort – the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing – the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.
When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it’s probably a good thing. We don’t need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
I can’t choose how i feel. But i can choose what I do about it.
The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.
Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can’t help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, “How can he want me the way I look in the morning?” It’s because we can’t see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.
As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.