Life is an incurable condition: the only known treatment is to try to keep the patient comfortable.
Thanks to my computer, I have now achieved a much higher state of disorganization.
Cling to your insecurity, in this world, it’s the only thing you can be sure of.
What I need is a lawyer who specializes in the law of the jungle.
Some people can find all the peace of mind they need in a good, satisfying conflict.
I have many unrecognized talents, but my faults have somehow succeeded in securing wide recognition.
Everything takes longer than you expect, even when you expect it to take longer than you expect.
The entire universe will eventually disintegrate but by then I hope to be in a safer place.
There ought to be a better way than government to run the world.
My success lies in having achieved a record numbers of failures.
Sometimes the only way you can win is to stay out of the game.
Watch out! It’s quite possible that some of my best mistakes haven’t yet been made.
It’s sometimes easier to do the impossible than to do the embarrassing.
One problem I have definitely solved is the problem of not having enough to worry about.
I like who I am, and am puzzled to find that not everybody shares this opinion.
Cheer up! The worst effects of what we’re doing won’t be felt until after we’re all dead.
Time will end all my troubles, but I don’t always approve of Time’s methods.
If I do enough different things in enough different ways, I may, eventually, do something right.
I can no longer face life, so I’ve decided to go through the rest of it backwards.
If you must keep groaning, please try to do it in a rhythm I can dance to.