I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.
In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.
The past is a ghost, the future a dream and all we ever have is now.
Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.
Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet.
You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.
No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.
A grandchild is God's reward for raising a child.
Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.
Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter.
If you want to be seen, stand up. If you want to be heard, speak up. If you want to be appreciated, shut up.
People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on.
Old is always fifteen years from now.
Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you're pouring, or drinking.