I often try to tell kids to think about all the people who love you, don’t cry over the one person who doesn’t.
I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.
The problem is that your daughter has given her heart to a 15-year-old boy, and a 15-year-old boy does not yet qualify as a human being.
Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.
The serve was invented so that the net could play.
Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.
In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck – and, of course, courage.
Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.
One of the great mistakes that can be made by a man of my age is to get involved in athletic competition with children-unless, of course, they are under six. And even then, stay away from hide-and-seek.
As a comedian, I can walk out in front of 5000 people and not worry about a thing. Not a thing, believe me. But to stand up a face a camera and crew of maybe 15 guys and get up tight about it – to me that’s weird.
Our children are angry. The profanity is out in the street. It’s on the buses and in the subway. Our children are trying to tell us something, and we are not listening.
You can never give complete authority and overall power to anyone until trust can be proven.
I’m a Christian. But Muslims are misunderstood. Intentionally misunderstood. We should all be more like them.
Mediocre people are the most dangerous people in the world.
If you listen carefully to what a child is saying to you, you’ll see that he has a point to make. So I listen. And I answer them just as seriously as possible. And if I don’t know the answer, I’ll tell them I don’t know.
All around the United States of America – in the cities and the counties – our public education is suffering and has been suffering. Cuts, cuts, cuts.
George Carlin is brilliant with words, and Johnny Winters is very creative. It’s taking something common and drawing out the humor, being clever with words.
We parents ask dumb questions, therefore we get dumb answers.
A Hoyo de Monterrey double corona is my favourite Cuban since Desi Arnaz.
The secret of success is to be like a duck, Smooth and unruffled on top, But paddling furiously underneath.