Suddenly, this romantic agony was enriched by a less romantic one: I had to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, I couldn’t let her know about this urge, for great lovers never did such things. The answer to “Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?” was not “In the men’s room, Julie.
As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by “survival of the fittest.
The Internet is like Hitler they think they are getting rid of the problem but they’re not.
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
Nothing I’ve ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children.
You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who’ve never had any.
The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.
Kids need to remember that when you put something on Twitter, it’s not like whispering to your friend, you’ve put it on a billboard that the whole world, including your own kids someday, can see.
Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don’t believe the kids should be given homework.
Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.
The heart of marriage is memories.
I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who’ve had luck with it and those who haven’t.
Take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.
Family is conflict and it’s something that we all relate to.
If you speak your mind and if it is true what you’re saying, then I think the integrity of what you’re saying carries through.
When you introduce competition into the public school system, most studies show that schools start to do better when they are competing for students.
It is a point of pride for the American male to keep the same size jockey shorts for his entire life.
Give me 200 active 2-year-olds and I could conquer the world.
It isn’t a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is not all that’s beautiful.
There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right.