What does politically correct mean? If you’re fat, don’t ask me if you’re fat, because I’m gonna tell you the truth. You’re fat.
Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train.
Well, when I went off to college, the guys I used to hang with were pumping gas and voting Democrat. Today they’re still pumping gas and voting Democrat. Guess the Democrats didn’t do much for them.
This is why I hate white people. You guys try to turn everything into a racial issue.
Curling is not a sport. I called my grandmother and told her she could win a gold medal because they have dusting in the Olympics now.
If ifs were gifts, every day would be Christmas.
I don’t care what people think. people are stupid.
There’s only 5 real jobs in the world. Teacher, fireman, policeman, doctor and somebody who is in the armed service. If you don’t have one of those 5 jobs, you shouldn’t take your life that serious.
All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine.
It bothers me when I hear these reporters and jocks get on TV and say: ‘Oh, no guy can come out in a team sport. These guys would go crazy.’ First of all, quit telling me what I think. I’d rather have a gay guy who can play than a straight guy who can’t play.
Everybody in the world has an ego. The only difference between us is we have a reason to have an ego.
You got to believe in yourself. Hell, I believe I’m the best-looking guy in the world and I might be right.
I May Be Wrong but I Doubt It.
The main thing to do is relax and let your talent do the work.
My message is simple: take control of your life.
The only difference between a good shot and a bad shot is if it goes in or not.
Half Man, Half Sit-Out-The-Season.
Kids are great. That’s one of the best things about our business, all the kids you get to meet. It’s a shame they have to grow up to be regular people and come to the games and call you names.
I remember sitting down with the Rockets and saying, ‘Yeah. I’m going to retire.’ They said, ‘Well, we’ll give you $9 million.’ And I said, ‘You got a pen on you?’
I read that heavy drinking is bad for your health. I decided I better stop reading.