I tend to equate sadness with intelligence.
Soccer is like punk rock: The product is not necessarily terrible. The problem is the fan base.
The biggest problem in rock journalism is that often the writers main motivation is to become friends with the band. Theyre not really journalists; theyre people who want to be involved in rock and roll.
If you can’t swim, the idea of being in nine feet of water is terrifying, much less the ocean.
Football allows the intellectual part of my brain to evolve, but it allows the emotional part to remain unchanged. It has a liberal cerebellum and a reactionary heart. And this is all I want from everything, all the time, always.
Book writing is a little different because, in my case, my editor is a year younger than me and basically has the same sensibility as me.
Anyone who claims to be good at lying is obviously bad at lying. Thus – as a writer myself – I cannot comment on whether or not writers are exceptionally good liars, because whatever I said would actually mean its complete opposite.
The Sims is an escapist vehicle for people who want to escape to where they already are, which is why I thought this game was made precisely for me.
I am ready to be alone.
It is important to have questionable friends you can trust unconditionally.
I honestly believe that people of my generation despise authenticity, mostly because they’re all so envious of it.
If I knew I was going to die at a specific moment in the future, it would be nice to be able to control what song I was listening to; this is why I always bring my iPod on airplanes.
If rain is God crying, I think God is drunk and his girlfriend just slept with Zeus.
We would sit in the living room, drink a case of Busch beer, and throw the empty cans into the kitchen for no reason whatsoever, beyond the fact that it was the most overtly irresponsible way for any two people to live.
Sometimes I think children are the worst people alive. And even if they’re not- even if some smiling toddler is as pure as Evian- it’s only a matter of time.
Even though I wanted to experience all these things I was interested in, I couldn’t get them. So I had to think critically and culturally about what was available.
Internet porn makes everything more reasonable – once you’ve realized there is a massive subculture of upwardly mobile people who think it’s erotic to see an Asian woman giving a hand job to a javelina, nothing else in the world seems crazy.
In and of itself, nothing really matters. What matters is that nothing is ever in and of itself.
Saying you like “Piano Man” doesn’t mean you like Billy Joel; it means you’re willing to go to a piano bar if there’s nothing else to do.
To me, every interview, even if you love the artist, needs to be somewhat adversarial. Which doesn’t mean you need to attack the person, but you do need to look at it like you’re trying to get information that has not been written about before.