Every relationship is fundamentally a power struggle, and the individual in power is whoever likes the other person less.
We assume that all statements must be mild inversions of the truth, because it’s too weird to imagine people who aren’t casually lying, pretty much all the time.
Everybody is wrong about everything, just about all the time.
Life is rarely about what happened; it’s mostly about what we think happened.
I once loved a girl who almost loved me, but not as much as she loved John Cusack.
I hate motorcycles. Because if I hit one, even if it’s not my fault, if I’ve done nothing wrong, I’m not charged with manslaughter, he’s gonna die, because he’s on a motorcycle. So I have to live my life knowing that I killed this guy.
It feels so exhausting to be so bad at something I loved so much.
The worst thing you can do to anybody trying to be creative is to demand participation in their vision.
Punk was perfect for lazy people, because anyone could do it – you didn’t even need to know how to play your instrument, assuming you knew how to plug it in. There was really no difference between Sid Vicious and anyone in London who owned a bass.
That’s like comparing apples with hermaphroditic ground sloths.
Americans have become conditioned to believe the world is a gray place without absolutes; this is because we’re simultaneously both cowardly and arrogant. We don’t know the answers, so we assume they must not exist.
Perhaps we humans are still in command, and perhaps there really will be a conventional robot war in the not-so-distant future. If so, let’s roll.
All my friends are rock critics, so we talk about rock criticism a lot. Because of that, in order to be part of the conversation, you have to have an awareness of what the discussion is.
It doesn’t matter what you can do if you don’t know why you’re doing it.
The last girl I love will be someone I haven’t even met yet, probably.
My mind and gut are never simpatico: Every time I think somebody likes me, she doesn’t; every time I think somebody doesn’t like me, she does. This has never changed and I’m certain it never will.
Let’s face it: Sadness and evil are always more believable than happiness and love. When a movie reviewer calls a film “realistic,” everyone knows what that means – it means the movie has an unhappy ending.
We’re all tourists, sort of. Life is tourism, sort of. As far as I’m concerned, the dinosaurs still hold the lease on this godforsaken rock.
Real people are actively trying to live like fake people, so real people are no less fake. Every comparison becomes impractical. This is why the impractical has become totally acceptable; impracticality almost seems cool.
If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Oh sure, it seems obvious now, but you’d be amazed at how many people don’t think of it when it’s relevant. Seriously, punch them in the face and go get some ice cream.