I don’t hate anyone. I simply block them out using hellish visions in a blind white rage. But if I see them out I’m pleasant.
Dear semi hot girl taking photos on a boat. It’s not your boat so stop acting like you own it. You drive a used Civic.
I won’t take no for a question.
There will be a guy in a yellow poncho, his name is Hank, he will take you to the whopper lair.
I’m fine, I am just going to go over here and puke shards of my own pelvis into this bush.
I don’t like when juice wears tights, its a horrible combination when juice wears tights.
When I have a really hot date at a show, I definitely make it a point to use her name. The girls really love that.
When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.
It’s an incredible feeling falling in love someone who doesn’t know you exist.
I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorite cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers.
I’m not racist, I’ve got a black president.
What am I supposed to say to an atheist when he sneezes, ah, when you die nothing happens.
When someone’s running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.
Text a guy you like right now, “I’m thinking about you.” If he says, “mmm are you in bed?” Never speak to him again he’s a lifelong moron.
I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
I live my life like there’s no yesterday.
I was home educated but would skip my lessons to go hang out at school.
It’s not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.
I have never even had a sip of alcohol, never have done drugs. The hardest thing I have ever done would be Pepsi.
I’m not giving up on life. I’m giving up on today.