If I raised my hand to wipe the hair out of my children’s eyes, they’d flinch and call their attorney.
The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, “Could I get you your check?” and we answered, “How about the menu first?”
A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
One son appears in stereo – a transistor in one ear and the phone in the other...
Last year I gave seventy-four phone hours to soliciting baked goods for the Bake-A-Rama. I was named Top Call Girl by the League.
Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn’t want our daughter to marry one.
I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
People are always asking couples whose marriage has endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman.
I think it’s time we women stopped carrying supplies for the entire family. If children don’t have room to carry their own toys, if men don’t have pockets in their pants, tougho.
A kitchen without an ironing board? Are you kidding? It’s un-American. It’s like Simon without Garfunkel.
If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?
Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
It is difficult to single out one sport over another, but if I have to name one in my separation suit, it will undoubtedly be football.
Hello there. I’m out social climbing, but if you leave your name and number and if you’re anybody, I’ll get back to you.
For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
A small waist makes you tire easily.
I don’t think women outlive men, Doctor. It only seems longer.
My idea of ‘roughing it’ is when you have to have an extension for your electric blanket.
Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.