I’m a big boy, but I can get jiggy with it. Ladies, I will go to dance clubs, and I will tear it up hardcore for a good 30 seconds.
You know, a lot of people think that just ’cause you work out, lift weights, eat right, and do what people tell you to do that you’ll live a long live, maybe you will. But, why do people measure life by the years instead about how good the years were.
I don’t want to die tomorrow knowing I could’ve had a piece of cake tonight.
Why do people measure life by the years instead of how good the years were?
There’s 5 levels of fatness! Fluffy is one of the levels. There’s big, healthy, husky, fluffy and damn.
Me racist? The only race I hate is the one you have to run.
Understand that you don’t know it all. You don’t know anything yet. What you’ve been taught is great, but always go with common sense. And don’t marry your first love.
I got off the plane – I was walking and cooking at the same time.
I had to travel half way across the world to be called an American.
You gotta live life before you can talk about it. Sometimes when things don’t work out in life, they work out on stage.
You live by the cake, you die by the cake.
You can’t be bad ass in a car that kills gas like I kill tacos.
I drink diet coke so I can eat regular cake.
I just know you can not be on top forever. There’s always going to be the next guy, and if I’m going to go down, I’d like to know I helped the next guy take my spot. You can’t prevent the inevitable, but you can join the ship.
I’m all about showing people that I’m a little messed up, I have a lot of the same problems you have. By exposing myself and putting myself out there, people can relate to me and my act won’t grow stale. I mean, nobody wants to hear a comedian say, ‘Life is great.’
I’ll walk up to a woman, I’ll say the first thing that comes to mind: ‘Hey, you hungry?’
Every night, it’s a bakery on the bus. It’s a curse, because I talk about how much I love cake, people bring me cake. And now I just found out I’m diabetic, so I’m like, are you kidding me?!
I started riding the whole ‘fluffy’ train, and it’s a cute word and socially a lot more acceptable than someone saying is fat or obese. If you call a girl ‘fat,’ yo, she’ll raise hell, but if you say, ‘Aw girl, look at you, you’re fluffy,’ there’s almost a sexy appeal to it.