I’m a lucky guy. I get to sit around every day and indulge in make believe and get paid for it.
I grew up in a fundamentalist protestant family that stressed that we were a select people and so we were to avoid contact with others who did not share our faith.
I think that you are only obliged to be a humorist from the age of 18 until you turn 30. Past the age of 30 I don’t think there is any obligation to be clever at all.
I don’t associate work with feelings of satisfaction. Rather, guilt, frustration, and resentment of people who write better than I do.
You don’t want to get that sort of sound in your writing that boing that gives you away.
Nothing that readers say or do strikes me as a nuisance. Anyone who cracks open a book of mine is, to me, a gem.
When you come to expect humor of people, you will never get it.
You’ve got work to do. Don’t put this off. And don’t take the long view, here. You know? Life is today and tomorrow and- and if you’re lucky, next week.
Sometimes you have to avoid mentioning things because people’s feelings are tender.
I usually don’t work with other people; I do the whole show myself.
I write on a laptop, so it’s impossible to count drafts anymore.
I like to sing and it’s just really fun to sing, and I don’t get too much. And at my house I’m not allowed to because, you know, your children can’t stand it when you sing at home.
It’s confidence; it has to be something good about getting old. One of the things is that you just don’t stress about some stuff that made you so worried.
I feel it’s so hard for young actors; It’s a different world that they’re coming up in; there’s so much money to be made off of their personal lives, and people are bound and determined to make that money.
I felt bad for that world that we have given a generation of kids.
There was a price to be paid for being interested in fiction and in writing, pushing my family away. Books and authors became my family.
One reads books in order to gain the privilege of living more than one life...
Travel is the art form available to Everyman. You sit in the coffee shop in a strange city and nobody knows who you are, or cares, and so you shed your checkered past and your motley credentials and you face the day unarmed... And onward we go and some day in the distant future, we will stop and turn around in astonishment to see all the places we’ve been and the heroes we were.
When NASA started sending up astronauts, they discovered that ballpoint pens don’t work in zero gravity. So they spent twelve million dollars and more than a decade developing a pen that writes under any condition, on almost every surface. The Russians used a pencil.
Did you know that half of all people are below average?