No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don’t have to respect anybody.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it’s time to turn out the lights.
I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
In show business the key word is honesty. Once you’ve learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn’t show up on x-rays, but you know it’s there.
Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
There’s an old saying, ‘Life begins at forty.’ That’s silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
I can’t understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
It’s no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I’m labeled senile.
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.