Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
Let’s call cheating what it is: a complete betrayal of trust.
Better than nothing is not good enough for you!
It’s your version of whatever that is. We use those words because they are kind of empowering. Try to get back into your life and get back on track with dreams you have. There’s nothing more attractive than a person who likes herself.
Part of me also knows that this generation is the least racist and most pro-gay, so that’s great. But they have a real lack of gravitas. And they have no taste in music. Vampire Weekend? Can we play some music, please? Can we rock out for a minute? Where’s your Metallica?
Be yourself. If something you do doesn’t work, don’t do it the next time. Listen to yourself – you know what appropriate behavior is.
It’s the prettiest place on the planet. My childhood was like a dream. It’s like the last Mayberry.
Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time.
For me, a breakup changed my entire life. I was a mess. I really got rocked, and I ended up turning it into a positive thing.
I don’t have to edit myself. I get to be me, warts and all, and that’s ultimately what people want, and to trust each other implicitly.
So, I play in a band. It’s a really underground band. Super underground. Very underground. Like, we don’t even actually play.
Most comics worship music on some level. It’s more rock-n-roll to get up there for an hour and make people laugh.
There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product; it’s not so much about the theme of the show.
I believe in love in hindsight, meaning attraction and connection can be remembered as love at first sight. But how could you possibly know at first sight? That’s too much pressure to put on a relationship.
Good enough to tweet, not to say.
I always tell people it’s funny that they think I’m a relationship expert because my two books are about getting out of relationships.
Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who’s really into you.
I’m just not interested in daytime television, which is something you should remember the next time somebody offers you a daytime talk show.
Can you deep fry the bacon? Oh how I wish you would...
The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it’s over – it’s over. No more confusion!