When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
After marriage, a woman’s sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man’s so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.
Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her – when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?
Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.
The chief excitement in a woman’s life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
The honeymoon is not actually over until we cease to stifle our sighs and begin to stifle our yawns.
When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they ‘don’t understand’ one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
A good woman is known by what she does; a good man by what he doesn’t.
A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.
The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn’t commit when he had the opportunity.
Never worry for fear you have broken a man’s heart; at the worst it is only sprained and a week’s rest will put it in perfect working condition again.
To a man, marriage means giving up four out of five of the chiffonier drawers; to a woman, giving up four out of five of her opinions.
The woman who appeals to a man’s vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him.
A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her imagination, and then they both speak of it as an affair of ’the heart.