According to The New York Times, more than half of President Obama’s Twitter followers are fake. They don’t even exist. Which is actually a good thing because if they did exist there wouldn’t be any jobs for them.
Here’s an interesting figure: 43 percent of the incoming congressional freshmen are millionaires. The other 57 percent are Democrats.
A man in Florida has been arrested for wearing a President Obama mask while robbing a McDonald’s. To show you how good this guy’s disguise was, instead of a holdup note he was reading from a teleprompter.
Astronomers have discovered a planet that is twice the size of earth and made of diamonds. President Obama says the planet may be inhabited by aliens not paying their fair share.
In Greece, the unemployment rate has risen to 22%. The solution to the problem was to raise taxes on the rich, according to the Greek president Barack Obama-opolis.
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about women is their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they’re a bunch of liars.
According to USA Today, 74 percent of Americans plan to hand out candy this Halloween. Although President Obama thinks it should be just the top 1 percent.
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.
Yesterday morning Facebook was temporarily offline, leaving millions of workers unable to do anything except their jobs.
As you may have heard, former President Bill Clinton says he’s coming here to California to help Governor Gray Davis in his recall election campaign. Which is ironic, isn’t it? When Clinton was president, he couldn’t recall anything.
If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
In Chicago some anti-Mitt Romney protesters told reporters they’re being paid to protest. They said they’re being paid by Democrats to stand outside and chant anti-Romney slogans. Well, who says President Obama isn’t creating any new jobs?
How many are worried about a government shutdown? How many are more worried about it starting back up?
According to federal reports filed yesterday, the Obama campaign spent more money than they raised in the month of May. They spent more money than they raised? Well, that’s called being a Democrat.
A new study says that working fewer hours can slow global warming. So you know what that means? President Obama’s economic policy is also his climate change policy.
I’ve lost some weight. I am on that new Obama diet. Every day I let Vladimir Putin eat my lunch.
This problem with illegal immigration is nothing new. In fact, the Indians had a special name for it. They called it “white people.”
Forty million Americans smoked marijuana; the only ones who didn’t like it were Judge Ginsberg, Clarence Thomas and Bill Clinton.
Soup is just a way of screwing you out of a meal.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak.