Someone else’s success does not equal a failure for you.
I realized a long time ago that instead of being jealous you can be inspired and appreciative. It carries more energy to you.
Houston Alexander is for real!
Excellence in anything increases your potential in everything.
A unicorn is a donkey from the future.
I had seen movies before that that had made me laugh, but I had never seen anything even remotely close to as funny as Richard Pryor was, just standing there talking.
Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was onstage because he would say nasty things. Dave Foley’s very funny, very witty guy, very quick.
Your body’s really only meant to compete at the highest levels of combat sports for a few years.
Never stay in a bad marriage, and don’t hang around with psycho coke fiends.
I read the things that scientists have figured out, and apply what they say is beneficial, but at the end of the day I’m the wrong person to get unchallenged nutritional advice from.
When you snatch little pieces of other people’s lives and try to palm them off as your own, that’s more disgusting than anything. Robin Williams is a huge thief. Denis Leary is a huge thief. His whole stand-up career is based on Bill Hicks, a brilliant guy who died years ago.
Having the privilege of sitting down and having 3 hour long uninterrupted conversations with hundreds of brilliant people is an awesome perspective enhancer.
Omigawa is moving forward like a karate robot.
I love existing in pre big bang conditions.
If you can lie, you can act, and if you can lie to crazy girlfriends, you can act under pressure.
Stand-up is still my favorite, but the podcast is a close second. It’s so fun, and it’s given me the oppor-tunity to have three-hour conversations with people I wouldn’t have otherwise been able to talk to. When I talked to Maynard Keenan from Tool, I almost couldn’t believe it was happening.
Any comic like myself owes everything he has to Lenny Bruce. He was the originator. The godfather of uncensored American stand-up is clearly Lenny Bruce.
So many times I’ve done a CD, and then the week after I record it, I’ve got this new tagline that’s killer. And it makes the whole bit better. It happens all the time. But that’s just the process of comedy.
I always try to look at conflicts from as many different angles as is humanly possible, and in a lot of ways there is no one answer.
If you are the greatest, why would you go around talking about it?