My dad was never married. He was kind of a rolling stone. But he was never disrespectful. At the same time, even though he had women in his life when I was a kid, there wasn’t any consistency.
You might be the funniest guy in the world, but if you don’t have anything to talk about, people are eventually going to gravitate towards the guy that’s actually saying something.
Having other comedians complimenting my work is the biggest accolade that I can get.
I think sometimes celebrities get so big, they’re not reachable.
I think women go crazy for a reason. It’s not like it just happens.
I try to be funny and not ignorant.
I was probably tall as a child, but I just stopped growing.
I was the guy on the swim team entertaining the bus on the way to the meets.
I’m a Buffalo wing magnet, a sandwich fanatic, a cheesesteak guy. But I’ll only get a cheesesteak in Philadelphia. No one else does it right.
I’m a health nut, but when I eat, I go hard.
I’m good friends with Jay Leno, good friends with Ed O’Neill, Melanie Fiona and Russell Simmons.
I’m not going to stop having problems.
I’m not Russell Crowe. I’m not going to do a period piece.
I’ve been known to preach.
I’ve done auditions where the casting director is taking the paper out of my hand in the middle of reading.
I promise you, I will have something on the Internet that is game-changing. I can’t lose.
I performed in a bowling alley before while people were still bowling. Cut the check, and I will perform anywhere.
I ain’t never called nobody no redskin. I’ve never been mad, like, ‘Get out of this restaurant, you redskin.’
I am an angel. I was sent here from God to heal.
I am who I am today because of my mother.