If you tell the truth about how you’re feeling, it becomes funny.
The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it’s the best of both worlds. There’s a lot to be said for it.
When you’re not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.
I tell people that I’ve now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.
And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me.
Anytime I’m involved with anything that’s well-received, it’s a surprise to me.
Golf and dating don’t mix.
I don’t like people cleaning my room.
I never thought for a second that anything I ever did was going to make someone cringe. That never occurred to me.
I gave a funny speech at my wife’s birthday party, and I’m thinking, ‘Hey, I’ve still got it.’
I just feed off the energy of the audience.
I think golf is literally an addiction. I’m surprised there’s not Golf Anonymous.
I just wanted laughs – that’s really what I was after.
I’m really only happy when I’m on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That’s what I’m all about – people and laughter.
I don’t think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It’s not even interesting to me.
I’ve been in therapy. I know enough about myself now to know that I really don’t need to know anymore.
It’s always good to take something that’s happened in your life and make something of it comedically.
I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.
I’m surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted.
Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I’m deaf and I try to imagine what it’s like not to be able to hear them. It’s not that bad.