Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself; in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.”
The less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.
Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes-none knows whence-and cannot explain itself.
The citizen who sees his society’s democratic clothes being worn out and does not cry it out, is not a patriot, but a traitor.
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at the other. It’s like feeding a dog on his own tail. It won’t fatten the dog.
The perfection of wisdom, and the end of true philosophy is to proportion our wants to our possessions, our ambitions to our capacities, we will then be a happy and a virtuous people.
A mine is a hole in the ground with a liar on top.
When in doubt tell the truth. It will confound your enemies and astound your friends.
You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can’t forget. Those are your ’friends.
Supposing is good, but finding out is better.
There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one – keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought -a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!
Names are not always what they seem.
So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldnt find honest employment.
There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again and that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
The old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying that such a laugh was money in a man’s pocket, because it cut down the doctor’s bills like everything.
Do something every day that you don’t want to do.
I do not wish any reward but to know I have done the right thing.