Etiquette requires us to admire the human race.
The frankest and freest and privatest product of the human mind and heart is a love letter...
Cold! If the thermometer had been an inch longer we’d all have frozen to death!
I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.
Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped, but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.
All I say is, kings is kings, and you got to make allowances. Take them all around, they’re a mighty ornery lot. It’s the way they’re raised.
I don’t know of a single foreign product that enters this country untaxed, except the answer to prayer.
It is human to exaggerate the merits of the dead.
There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It’s dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.
When the human race has once acquired a superstition, nothing short of death is ever likely to remove it.
I have done more for San Francisco than any of its old residents. Since I left there it has increased in population fully 300,000. I could have done more – I could have gone earlier – it was suggested.
I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than any in the world.
Civilizations proceed from the heart rather than from the head.
An occasional compliment is necessary to keep up one’s self-respect.
God’s great cosmic joke on the human race was requiring that men and women live together in marriage.
You try to tell me anything about the newspaper business! Sir, I have been through it from Alpha to Omaha, and I tell you that the less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.
The dreamer’s valuation of a thing lost – not another man’s – is the only standard to measure it by, and his grief for it makes it large and great and fine, and is worthy of our reverence in all cases.
Now, isn’t imagination a precious thing? It peoples the earth with all manner of wonders...
There ain’t no way to find out why a snorer can’t hear himself snore.
The gods offer no rewards for intellect. There was never one yet that showed any interest in it...