The brain may die, but my compulsion for useless trivia lives on.
Wal-mart started selling “Vampire Home Defense Kits”, including holy water, crosses, stakes, mallets, and a book of quick blessings to bar vampires from your door. The fact that these kits were generally useless didn’t bother me nearly as much as the idea of holy water being sold at wal-mart.
It’s hard to forget a woman who manages to seduce you while spouting odd literary trivia and anatomically specific threats.
You should be just as respectful to authority figures and public servants, even if you can now drain them dry. Because your kids are watching you. Also, because it’s still illegal to drain authority figures and public servants dry.
I’m not adorable,” Wade protested. “I am manly and grizzled and have no emotions. None.
Let’s see, the last guy I dated – is there a word for someone who’s sexually attracted to Muppets?” Andrea’s elegant persona was destroyed as she laughed so hard martini shot out of her nose.
Confrontations with other parents are going to happen – at your child’s school, at the ball field, at the mall. The important thing to remember is that thanks to the prevalence of security cameras and smartphones, you’re probably being recorded. So footage of your retribution will be held against you in a court of law.
After a long pause, Mama said, “Well, I don’t know what to say.” Daddy checked his watch and marked the time. “It took thirty years, but it was bound to happen sometime.
And while the Council generally tolerates murder, it finds murder for hire distasteful.
They were barely children, really, more like hyper badgers in Abercrombie and Fitch T-shirts.
Don’t say “intimate relations.” “Happy Naked Fun Time?” Gabriel suggested. “Exactly.” I nodded.
Visiting Specialty Books was like living in an episode of Extreme Hoarders: Bibliophiles.
I love you, too, Stretch,” he said, giving my shoulder a brief squeeze. “You’re the sister I never really wanted.” “Nice.
He likes me!” Finn exclaimed, sounding downright giddy. “You brought him a rare LEGO. You could burn down our house, and he would still look at you all googly-eyed.” “Don’t ruin this moment for me,” he said, shushing me.
My only regret is that I can’t track down a boyfriend or two and use my evil vampire powers to hypnotize him into stripping naked and dancing the Highland Fling every time he hears the word ‘hello.’ ” “But he would hear it several times every day,” I told her. “What’s your point?
Finn was an enigma wrapped in a riddle coated in misdirection. He was a burrito of dishonesty.
For once in my life, I was going to get through a situation with a little dignity. OK, I probably wasn’t, but I would fake it as if my life depended on it.
Please don’t mix Marvel and DC references. You’re better than that,” he said, shaking his head disdainfully.
If anything happened to you, I don’t know what I would do.” I lifted my head to eye him warily. “You’re not going to do something weird with my dryer lint, are you?” “I never know what is going to come out of your mouth,” he said, staring at me. “I enjoy that, in a morbid way.
Normal doesn’t exist. It was a rumor started by McCarthy in the 1950s.