I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
Actually, with those dirty movies, I find like, they’re good for about fifteen, twenty minutes. I’m really interested. And, then, uh, there’s one point, that all of a sudden I’m bored. You know? I just lose interest completely and I feel deeply ashamed.
They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.
OJ Simpson was in a different kind of courtroom this week attempting to regain custody of his two children. In order to prove to the court how much he loves his kids, OJ pointed out quote ‘Hey, they’re still alive, aren’t they?’
I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.