The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.
Men read maps better than women because only men can understand the concept of an inch equaling a hundred miles.
Excuse the mess, but we live here.
Half the world’s starving; the other half is trying to lose weight.
If you spend all your time worrying about dying, living isn’t going to be much fun.
Being hated and hunted and blamed for your own suffering makes people kind of testy, nervous, and on edge, and often fundamentalist and extreme. Bombs get thrown only when people cannot honestly talk together.
Adults in a free country should be able to smoke a joint if they want to.
Eat as much as you’d like. My philosophy has always been that all women desire to be as fat as myself but just have a great fear of doing so. Because they think they won’t get any men, but you will. You’ll get more men, and better men.
I’m not going to vacuum ’til Sears makes one you can ride on.
A lot of times nerds are really artists listening to the beat of another drummer.
A lot of men are impotent and it’s very sad. How many of you are impotent? I see. Can’t get your arms up either?
Comedy is the only hope for humanity.