Relationships end, but they don’t end your life.
I love doing my surreal sing-along that had words that no one could follow.
I think when the movie ‘Roxanne’ came out, which I also had written, I felt something new that I never felt, which was respect.
Lots of women are getting involved. They’re not satisfied just being passengers anymore.
I used to think a wedding was a simple affair. Boy and girl meet, they fall in love, he buys a ring, she buys a dress, they say I do. I was wrong. That’s getting married. A wedding is an entirely different proposition.
I can understand the drug thing. So they feel that it’s more important to take the drugs than to do a good show for the people.
Rebelliousness really is the province of young people-that kind of iconoclasm.
These days it’s hard to look at a poodle without thinking what a good meal he would make.
Comedy is a distortion of what is happening, and there will always be something happening.
To me, torture would be, “I can’t think what to write in the next sentence. I’m stuck.” Torture would be if you didn’t have the next idea.
There’s a big difference between the National Book Awards and the Academy Awards. At the Academy Awards you can feel the greed and envy and ego. Whereas the National Book Awards are in New York.
Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap.
Why sip from a tea cup, when you can drink from the river.
There are few takers for the quiet heart.
With a cheery delicacy she divided my obsessions into three categories: acceptable, unacceptable, and hilarious.
Working at the magic shop really gave me a sense of comedy because it was all jokes.
I actually credit Twitter with fine-tuning some joke-writing skills. I still feel like I’m working at it.
I loved magic, and so I would practice my magic tricks in front of a mirror for hours and hours and hours because I was told that you must practice, you must practice and never present a trick before it’s ready.
I thought ‘Borat’ was a breakthrough comedy, because it was really funny. It wasn’t some studio-produced script with 14 writers.
It’s like painting the same blank canvas over and over and over and over and over. Once the concept is known, you don’t need to see two. And that was in the back of my head, that I was really done artistically with what I had created or pastiched.