Ten men in our country could buy the whole world and ten million can’t buy enough to eat.
It takes a lifetime to build a good reputation, but you can lose it in a minute.
Ignorance lies not in the things you don’t know, but in the things you know that ain’t so.
Politicians, after all, are not over a year behind public opinion.
If you feel the urge, don’t be afraid to go on a wild goose chase. What do you think wild geese are for anyway?
Common sense ain’t common.
The only way to solve the traffic problems of the country is to pass a law that only paid-for cars are allowed to use the highways. That would make traffic so scarce, we could use our boulevards for children’s playgrounds.
In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time.
Those tax-exempt bonds were put in so that a town or a state or a government could sell more bonds than it ought to.
The United States investigates everything – usually after it’s dead.
This stuff they are talking here in Congress costs the people of the United States $44 a page. That’s beside what it costs to ship it to the asylums where it’s read.
I bet you, if I had met Trotsky, and had had a chat with him, I would have found him a very interesting and human fellow, for I have never yet met a man I didn’t like.
I doubt if a charging elephant, or a rhino, is as determined or hard to check as a socially ambitious mother.
If we took Congress seriously, we would be worrying all the time.
We don’t know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it.
See what will happen if you don’t stop biting your fingernails.
All one has to do to get one’s stuff in the Congressional Record is to find a stenographer that can stay awake long enough to take it down. Then you mark in the ‘Applause’ and ‘Laughter’ parts yourself.
I see where they are going to be more strict with these robbers; when they catch ’em from now on, they’re going to publish their names.
We are always yapping about the ‘Good Old Days’ and how we look back and enjoy it, but I tell you there is a lot of hooey to it. There is a whole lot of all our past lives that wasn’t so hot.
One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.