I watch a happy person doing stand-up, and I go, “What the hell is this? This person’s happy!” You need internal conflict. You need the guy to be out of step with society. It’s a tool for comedy.
I’ve been happily dedicated to the same woman for a number of years. I never even look at other women.
I have a 60-acre farm in North Carolina, and I have a tractor and a farmhouse. As soon as I groom the land, I want to put cabins around and have a place where people can write and hang out. It’ll be either that or an all-black nudist colony.
I find anger to be funny. I find people that are so wrapped up in their own personalities to be funny, and lost. Like myself in real life.
I would have changed my last name if being famous were my goal.
I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack.
The problem with these interviews is that there’s no sarcastic font.
I’ll never forget my grandmother’s last words. She said ‘What are you doing?’
We talked about politics constantly in my family growing up in North Carolina. There were always debates. Being of Greek background, it’s in our blood to drink coffee and talk politics.
I kind of put myself out there as is. I’m a quiet person. I don’t know if that’s surprising. I’m a Pilates junkie.
The whole thing about working in front of the camera is to make people laugh when they’re not supposed to.
Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in New York and so I hate strip joints. I’m not that kind of person.
My name is Zach Galifianakis and I hope I’m pronouncing that right. I’m named after my granddad, my middle name. My name is Zach Granddad Galifianakis.
I think if they put a laugh track on ‘Intervention,’ it would be funny.
I like characters that are fragile and a little bit on the edge .
Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.
I call my balls the bush twins.
I don’t know what my assistant would do besides get me pot.
You save 15 more minutes of sleep if you are a man and you don’t have to shave.
People are trying to prove things. And I probably have that. I probably do. Probably guilty of it, in a way.