You write things that are of interest to you. There’s no focus group.
I wonder if in 2050 there will be a movie called, ‘Dude, Where’s My Spaceship’
I was just thinking how unfortunate it’d be to be a fat girl named Candy.
Element of surprise is really fun for me in comedy. I have to be surprised, and everything’s been done.
My dad doesn’t get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn’t understand them. He’s just laughing because people around him are laughing.
I don’t like cursing in movies. I feel like cursing has become the new hackiness. You try to find substitutions for cursing.
I am not into publicity. I’m not good at it. I get anxiety about it.
I am going to be the next Ryan Gosling.
When a role seems fun it’s easy to play. It kind of comes organically.
I would start a revolution, but I just bought a hammock.
I’ve always been attracted to sad. If you look at Woody Allen movies, he’s often playing a sad clown, and it’s always been interesting. And angry clown is even more interesting.
I try to write three jokes every day. I don’t sit down and write them, it’s just things that pop into my head. Then I’ll go watch it fail onstage that night.
I haven’t been hit since Leon Spinks hit me in ’92.
I just try to keep myself a traditionalist. I liked being an underground comic doing my thing. I want to maintain that. I just do.
I don’t want to do an edgy show, I didn’t want bad language. I think edginess is the new hackiness.
There was a long time where I was an ‘artist’ in quotes, who had no money. But I guess back then I also never had a girlfriend.
I’m Greek. My body produces feta cheese.
I’m not versed enough in constitutional law to run for office. I’d have to go back to school or something.
My real last name is Galifianakisburg.
My forte is awkwardness.