Some of my troubles are so familiar, I know them by their first names.
Success for some people, depends on becoming well-known, for others it depends on never being found out.
Not only don’t I know what tomorrow will bring, I’m still not entirely certain what yesterday brought?
What could possibly be more fantastic than reality?
It can take a surprisingly long time to get from one part of my mind to another.
One good thing about my computer: it never asks why.
The really great people are the ones who know how to make the little people feel great.
There is a world which I alone rule, but it ends at my fingertips.
It’s hard enough to be alive and human, without the additional burden of being me.
With all deference to Chairman Mao and other authors whose quotations derive from longer works, it seemed that I was becoming the world’s first writer of self-contained ready-made quotations.
They laughed at Edison and Einstein, but somehow I still feel uncomfortable when they laugh at me.
I live in a world all my own, but visitors are always welcome.
Scientists say we use 10% of our brain. That’s way too much. By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task completely overwhelm me.
Here is a guaranteed way to get more of what you want: want less.
I have seen the future! Go back!
What happened to you could have been worse – it could have happened to me.
Nothing really matters except a few things that really don’t matter very much.
I have no prejudices: all my irrational hatreds are based on solid evidence.
Sooner or later, I’ll be punctual.
I will stop at nothing to reach my objective, but only because my brakes are defective.