I don’t respect thinking that is dangerous, prejudicial, childish, and could get me killed.
For months in the fall of 2001, our highways looked like a county fair on wheels. “Look out, Al-Qaeda – patriot on board!” I once saw a guy with five flags tell a guy with four flags to go back to Afghanistan.
And, corny as it may sound, I do cherish the bond between me and the audience, the minority that follows my stuff and always makes me glad it’s us against the world.
New Rule: Instead of killing 99.9 percent of germs, Lysol has to just go ahead and kill them all. Why spare the remaining 0.1 percent? So they can return to their villages and tell the other germs, “Dude, do not mess with Lysol”?
Clint Eastwood’s speech was kind of a metaphor for the entire Republican Party: A confused old person yelling at something that doesn’t exist.
I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.
The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he’s the only one in the world who treats me like I’m the Beatles.
Mitt Romney we think is going run again. He says he has no plans to run, but he said if he did run, this time things would turn out differently. Yes they would. This time he would get his ass kicked by a woman.
You can always tell when Obama’s negotiations with the Republicans are winding down, because he’s missing his watch and his lunch money.
I feel like I’m wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
To those people who say, ‘My father is alive because of animal experimentation,’ I say, ‘Yeah, well, good for you. This dog died so your father could live.’ Sorry, but I am just not behind that kind of trade-off.
Tt just seems to be human nature to seem to want to posit in another human being, qualities that you must know, in part of your mind, that human being couldn’t possess because you don’t possess.
If the bible myth of Jonah in the whale and the Mother Goose myth of Jack and the Beanstalk were switched at birth so that Jack in the Beanstalk were in the bible, do you think any child would notice?
Whatever good religion has done, it has come at a terrible price.
We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That’s cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it’s not cowardly.
You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.
New rule: If churches don’t have to pay taxes, they also can’t call the fire department when they catch fire. Sorry reverend, that’s one of those services that goes along with paying in. I’ll use the fire department I pay for. You can pray for rain.
I do miss George Bush. Compared to these teabaggers and the people who are pandering to them, he looks like a professor.
We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It’s overrun with sheep and conformists.
Funny that all of Nixon’s crimes – anonymous campaign cash, wiretapping, undeclared wars – are all legal now. Discuss.