Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.
Why did Mitt Romney strap his dog to the roof of his car? Could it be because his station wagon was full of wives?
We had a national tragedy this week, and the President of the United States and Sarah Palin both made speeches on the same day. Obama came out against lunatics with guns, she gave the rebuttal.
Things aren’t right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
The difference between the three Abrahamic religions: Christianity – mumbling to the ceiling, Judaism – mumbling to the wall, Islam – mumbling to the floor.
North Carolina right now is going apeshit in a way no state ever has. Take every crazy, angry idea your drunk, right-wing uncle mumbles at Thanksgiving, turn it into a law, and that’s North Carolina today.
Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don’t need.
Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool.
There is no debate here, just scientists and non-scientists. And since the subject is science, the non-scientists don’t get a vote.
Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the ‘will of the people’ goes out the window.
Emergency rooms will be used the way they were intended to be used: not for primary care, but for when the average freaky American get some strange object up his ass.
What we don’t know is about Jeb Bush and cocaine. But we do know that he did once had his brother Florida on a silver platter.
The Democrats are very bad at selling their own product. The Republicans are geniuses at it. And I’ve said it before, a bad product well apologized for is superior in this country to a good product.
It was quite a sight to see Obama next to President Hu. Obama has a Nobel Peace Prize in his basement, and Hu has a Nobel Peace Prize winner in his.
If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.
One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.
My thinking is, government is really there to do the things that people absolutely can’t do for themselves. And that’s mostly involved with the things that might kill you. And what might kill me? The environment and terrorism.
Ask your doctor if getting off your ass is right for you.
The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid. Girls got pinned, not nailed.