Religion is detrimental to the progress of society.
I think America causes cancer, longevity is less important than fun, and young people should be discouraged from voting.
You know, we do a lot of complaining here in America. And that itself is something they can’t do in a lot of other countries.
The NRA made an ad saying that Obama is elitist because his kids have armed guards. Yeah, that crazy Obama thinking his kids need special protection. I love the NRA accusing anyone of being paranoid. It’s like a septic tank saying, ‘You need a mint.’
Don’t get so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance.
During the Depression, or back when we were fighting Hitler, people didn’t have time to sue a company if the coffee was too hot. There were urgent, pressing problems. If you think you have it tough, read history books.
If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope.
Maybe every other American movie shouldn’t be based on a comic book. Other countries will think Americans live in an infantile fantasy land where reality is whatever we say it is and every problem can be solved with violence.
The Republican Party is like the corpse in ‘Weekend at Bernies’ and the Tea Party is like the two guys who put sunglasses and a party hat on it and drag it around.
The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.
Let’s face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
The only thing I hate worse than prophecy is self-fulfilling prophecy.
I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.
I didn’t really think a lot about religion, but I didn’t really think a lot against it, either. I was one of those people who didn’t go to church, but when I got in trouble I kinda pleaded with God – whoever that was.
This is a ridiculous heat wave we’re in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich said that for the entire month of June, he will stop blowing hot air.
They’re talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that’s used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can’t even smoke in bed.
False hope really makes you cynical.
President Obama invited John McCain to the White House to give his opinion on Egypt, specifically what it’s like to be a mummy.
Some people think I enjoy debate. I don’t. I wish everyone agreed with me; it would save a lot of time.
It’s very hard not to be condescending when you’re explaining something to an idiot.