Sarah Palin finally heard what happened in Japan and she’s demanding that we invade ‘Tsunami.’
You can’t pray away global warming, and that’s the difference between religious people and sane people.
Eell there always is a tendency in human nature to deify.
The difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull: At some point, a pit bull does stop whining.
Hey birthers, wanna hear my theory? My theory was that Obama was born in America and you were born with the umbilical cord around your neck.
Nobody in America who wants pot has any trouble getting it, so maybe that’s why we aren’t seeing support for legalization. People don’t think it’s necessary to legalize it, because it’s so easy to get it.
Did you see the 2000 Republican Presidential Convention? The last time the Republicans had that many Black people on a stage, they were selling them!
We don’t do sensible things. This is America.
In the Republican party, crazy is a constituency.
Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make in order to become the wiser person we became.
Heroin may be bad, but it sure as hell hasn’t hurt my CD collection.
Failing to warn the citizens of a looming weapon of mass destruction- and that’s what global warming is- in order to protect oil company profits, well, that fits for me the definition of treason.
Don’t vote for Republicans or Democrats until they clean up the open system of bribery that we live under.
America is like a dog. I’m sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can’t actually explain issues to a dog.
The cable TV sex channels don’t expand our horizons, don’t make us better people, and don’t come in clearly enough.
Selling pot allowed me to get through college and make enough money to start off in comedy.
The difference between a GOP convention and Comic-Con is that the people at Comic-Con have a much firmer grasp of reality.
Don’t you miss the days when America was just MORALLY bankrupt?
If you came into the theater believing in the talking snake, it’s kind of hard to leave the theater still believing in the talking snake.
We don’t really have to make fun of religion – it makes fun of itself.