I didn’t raise my kids with the fear of God.
There’s nothing wrong with an actor that can’t improvise, but if you’re going to improvise, you gotta make sure you got people that can play the game.
I’m the Lord of the Dance! F-k Michael Flatley, it’s me!
Did you ever notice they never take any fat hostages? You never see a guy coming out of Lebanon going: I was held hostage for seven months and I lost 175 pounds, I feel good and I look good and I learned self-discipline. That’s the important thing.
Personally, I think Jim Henson said it best when he said “Anybody got an aspirin? I think I’ve got a cold.”
At some level, you’ve got to have the ability to – especially in film and in front of the camera, you got to have the ability to drop into character and close off the entire crew and the camera and everything else.
I just think it’s difficult for them to see the forest for the trees right now, which I can’t blame them for, given the circumstances they found themselves in.
The filter’s the best part. That’s where they put the heroin.
I’m sick and tired of our generation being called the TV generation. What do you expect? We watched Lee Harvey Oswald get his brains blown out all over. How could we change the channel after that?
We drink and we die and continue to drink.
My father could swear in Gaelic and English, by the way, ladies and gentlemen.
You try to – you want to fly on both sides of the political fence because that’s where the – where the comedy is.
People are disappointed that you aren’t exactly who they thought you were, as opposed to somebody who’s just walking around trying to get some laundry done.
People saying, ‘Life didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to.’ Welcome to the club. I wanted to be the starting center-fielder for the Boston Red Sox, for chrissakes!
If you want a long-term relationship that doesn’t require a lot of work, I say, get a dog. They love you no matter what. But when it comes to humans, there’s no secret; you really have to appreciate the person every single day.
Anthony Mackie in ‘The Hurt Locker’ is everything an actor can hope to be. So rock steady in his portrayal that you immediately forget every performance he may have previously given, and focus only on the character in front of you.
You get to a certain point, especially if you’re a comedian, where people think certain things. It’s like, I don’t take the time to explain it to people, it’s just part of what I do.
My goal is to leave this planet with the biggest carbon footprint I can possibly leave.
It’s hard to have a film and television career and do music work at the same time.
First of all, I have to have trucks because I live most of my time on a horse farm, so I’ve gotta have trucks. It’s in the northeast; I’ve got to have pickup trucks to move snow, number one. Number two, just if I’m driving, I don’t have to have an SUV, but I want a big car.