It’s important to have your own space. I’ve never trusted people who do everything together. I call them “Kool-Aid Couples,” because it’s like they drank the same Kool-Aid and it’s drugged them into constantly gazing into each other’s eyes.
Coffee doesn’t need a menu, it needs a cup. That’s all it needs! Maybe a saucer underneath the cup – that’s it.
Crisis doesn’t create character; it reveals it.
I take music pretty seriously. You see that scar on my wrist? You see that? You know where that’s from? I heard the Bee Gees were getting back together again. I couldn’t take it, OK!
My wife and I were poor when I started but we struggled along until things happened for me in my thirties. I knew I was doing what I loved even if I wasn’t getting paid for it, so I think I’d still be doing it.
Don’t buy the toys that make the noise!
I love to smoke. I love to eat red meat. I’ll only eat red meat that comes from cows who smoke, ok!? Special cows they grow in Virginia with voice boxes in their necks. “Moo”
Worrying about tomorrow is the best way to screw up today.
Sin is in, and so we begin...
When I first got famous, Greg Dulli was also just starting to cook with the Afghan Whigs, and because of the MTV awards I met Dave Grohl and Nirvana and all these rock and roll bands. So I had experience with what it was like when people were taking off at that time.
Marriage is like a dull meal with the dessert at the beginning.
I’m in my truck talking to Jesus. And you can see a World Series ring on my right pinkie finger. But when I take my sunglasses off a second later, it’s gone. It’s the whole divine intervention thing. You know Jesus had something to do with them winning.
Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who’s old enough to swim next time, Ok Jerry?
Dustin Hoffman said this one time, that if he hadn’t made it as a film star, he would still be happy as a character actor because he was a character actor because of his face from day one, so he would always work in the theater.
I tried eating vegetarian. I felt like a wimp going into a restaurant. “What do you want to eat sir? Broccoli?” Broccoli’s a side dish, folks. Always was, always will be, OK! When they ask me what I want, I say: What do you think I want? This is America. I want a bowl of raw red meat right now.
You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.
You can’t teach somebody how to be funny. You’re either funny, or you ain’t.
On a movie, you have a great time, and you’re really enjoying the work, and then everybody is done and goes their separate ways, and you maybe never get to work with those people again.
Sometimes I park in handicap spaces while handicapped people make handicapped faces.
I have good kids, I love my kids. I try to bring them up the right way, not spanking them. I find that I don’t have to spank them. I find that waving the gun around pretty much gets the same job done!