A lecturer often makes you feel dumb at one end and numb at the other.
Lecturers should remember that the capacity of the mind to absorb is limited to what the seat can endure.
Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock.
A special skill, like speaking several languages, or keeping your mouth shut in one.
In elections, the undecided vote is usually the deciding factor.
A dollar saved is a dollar earned but seldom vice versa.
Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games.
An instrument that sometimes expresses thought, sometimes obscures thought, but most often replaces thought.
The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself.
Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.
A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him.
The reason why men who mind their own business succeed is that they have so little competition.
Don’t be a hog: the only time a hog helps the community is when he dies.
Communism is a form of society where the less people have to eat, the more they have to swallow.
Communism is a form of government under which every citizen at election time enjoys the privilege of voting Yes.
There’s only one kind of common sense but a thousand varieties of stupidity.
The most uncommon form of intelligence is common sense.
The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.
A home in the country is what a city man hopes to buy and a farmer hopes to sell.
A man picks a wife about the same way an apple picks a farmer.