A man doesn’t have vacation problems: his boss tells him when to take them, and his wife tells him where.
A man is known by the company he keeps, but a woman is known by the company she keeps waiting.
Everything comes to him who waits – if he waits till it comes.
Divorce has become so easy nowadays that women have stopped crying at weddings.
A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.
Many a wedding takes place when a man can’t afford to go steady with a girl any longer.
After paying for the wedding, about the only thing a father has left to give away is the bride.
It’s surprising how much wisdom every man possesses – if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others.
There’s only one thing worse than to live without working, and that is to work without living.
Formerly when a man worked ten hours a day, it was called economic slavery; nowadays it is called moonlighting.
Many a man works himself to death by burying himself in his work.
Some men are so eager for success that they are even willing to work for it.
Worry makes people thin, except when they worry about being fat.
There would be no population explosion if people who are trying to keep the wolf from the door wouldn’t let the stork fly in through the window.
It’s not the loss of life that makes the death bitter – it’s the obituaries.
The survival of the fittest is going to make some man very lonesome some day.
An expert is someone who takes something you already know and makes it sound confusing.
The honeymoon is the only period when a woman isn’t trying to reform her husband.
A husband may forget where he went on his honeymoon, but he never forgets why.
The state of the Union largely depends on the state of the unions.