The car was invented as a convenient place to sit out traffic jams.
The saddest thing in life is to marry a woman who looks like a cook – and isn’t.
A corporation has all the powers and privileges of an individual: all it lacks is a conscience.
The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.
Compare what you want with what you have, and you’ll be unhappy; compare what you deserve with what you have, and you’ll be happy.
Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
A husband is like a fire. He goes out when unattended.
Many a husband lives to regret the extravagant fee he bestowed upon the minister who sentenced him.
You can always tell the golfer who’s winning: he’s the one who keeps telling his opponent that it’s only a game.
The man who avoids debt doesn’t have to worry about avoiding his creditors.
A word to the wise is – unnecessary.
Conscience gets a lot of credit that really belongs to cowardice.
The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.
If it required some effort to go from today to tomorrow, some people would always remain in yesterday.
The trouble with dieting is that a pound of will power takes off only an ounce of weight.
The modern dance is no dance in the first place, and when you’ve finally learned it, it’s not modern any more.
Diets show to what great lengths women will go so as not to go to great widths.
Washington is the place where nobody believes a rumor until it has been officially denied.
Corrupt officials are usually close-mouthed and open-handed.
Every bride and groom would do well to remember that in wedding, the we comes before the I.