Bush is smart. I don’t think that Bush will ever be impeached, ’cause unlike Clinton, Reagan, or even his father, George W. is immune from scandal. Because, if George W. testifies that he had no idea what was going on, wouldn’t you believe him?
Michele Bachmann told reporters that she will lead the nation in prayer if she is elected president. You know if she is elected president, we all better be praying. She doesn’t have to lead us.
Rick Perry unveiled his new tax plan. He says he wants a flat tax. He believes that tax should be flat, just like the earth.
It seemed that after he was killed, Gadhafi’s body was stored at a commercial freezer at a shopping mall. It’s one thing to hunt a guy down and shoot him twice in the head, but then to drag him to the mall? Come on, guys hate that.
Joe Biden once again denied stories that he will be replaced on the ticket in 2012. He says he will continue to embarrass President Obama for another four years.
Warren Buffett’s company reportedly owes the IRS a billion dollars in back taxes. When he said he wasn’t paying enough taxes, he wasn’t kidding.
Chris Christie has officially endorsed Mitt Romney for president. Christie said President Obama is ‘shrinking the American pie.’ And believe me, if there’s one thing Christie hates, it’s a small pie.
President Bush called Arnold to congratulate him today, and after he got off the phone, Arnold said, ‘I thought my English was bad.’
Six women have come forward that say Arnold Schwarzenegger groped them without their consent. This proves he would be a hands-on governor.
Arnold said this is a last minute attack by Democrats. How did Arnold know to grope only Democrats?
You know who Boehner is, right? He’s that orange looking guy. See, for Republicans that counts as diversity.
Barack Obama said yesterday that the economy was ‘going to get worse before it gets better.’ See, that’s when you know the campaign is really over. Remember before the election? ‘The audacity of hope!’ ‘Yes, we can!’ ‘A change we can believe in!’ Now it’s, ‘We’re all screwed.’
A Newsweek poll said if the election were held today, John Kerry would beat Bush 49 percent to 46 percent. And today, President Bush called Newsweek magazine a threat to world peace.
President Bush was in Los Angeles yesterday where he announced his new campaign theme – “Safer, Stronger, and Tested.” Isn’t that a condom ad?
Do you realize that the Bush administration has now produced more gay marriages than jobs?
Attorney General John Ashcroft has been hospitalized. I believe he is suffering from homophobia. No, actually, it was just gallstones, but when they gave him the hospital gown that opens in the back, he refused to wear it, he thought it was a gay wedding dress.
George W. Bush loves golf because it’s like the election – low score wins.
If politicians all told the truth, we’d be out of business.
Former Enron founder Ken Lay and CEO Jeffrey Skilling found guilty in the Enron case. Ken Lay is so guilty I’m surprised people aren’t calling him Congressman Ken Lay. Wait ’till these guys find out in prison that insider trading has a whole new meaning.
Well, there’s a bright side to this for Ken Lay. You know, throughout the years Ken Lay has been a big campaign contributor to the Republican Party. So now, he’ll be able to meet with those same people when he goes to prison.