Once you start doing only what you’ve already proven you can do, you’re on the road to death.
And that’s when I realized, when you’re a kid you don’t need a costume, you ARE superman.
Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there’s no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.
The Beatles created something that never trailed off. What a gift that was to their fans. If you’re into the Beatles, you loved them from beginning to end.
You can be passionate about anything.
Well, Howard Stern has been doing his impression of me for years. It doesn’t really bother me.
We sold ‘Seinfeld’ all over the world but it was a very specific kind of show. In some countries it went down really well, in others they hated it.
I won’t do something unless I can get at least two or three good laughs out of it. If I can’t, it’s not gonna make the team.
The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. Its the most fun.
I don’t want to hear the specials. If they’re so special, put ’em on the menu.
You’ll fold faster than Superman on laundry day.
Let’s face it: a date is a job-interview, that lasts all night. The only difference between a date and a job interview is: not many job-interviews is there a chance you’ll end up naked at the end of it.
When you interrupt, you’ve stopped listening. People need to be heard.
Elaine: Ugh, I hate people. Jerry: Yeah, they’re the worst.
Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night?
When I jumped off a roof in Cannes in a bee costume, I looked ridiculous. But this is my business; I have to humiliate myself.
Taking in a baseball game on TV is also a big treat.
I’ll tell you one thing, since I’m married, single people look absolutely ridiculous to me.
The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn’t have that kind of personality, and it’s a terrifying thing to say.
I don’t wanna be a Pirate!!!!